Clash of the Titans

Victorious Grasshoppers captain's report on their epic 20-7 victory over the Greyhounds.

Not a night for the faint hearted as we kicked off in front of the biggest crowd I've ever seen. This was due to the Under 14/15/16's presentation evening at the club for which we were the entertainment and what entertainment!!

We for once were blessed with some pace in the team (the lack of it is why the 4ths are normally expected to beat us) and every one of the 28 players we used played their hearts out for the team in what was possibly one of the best displays I've witnessed from a Hoppers team.

The 4ths were taken apart piece by piece both in the pack and in the backs, Syko started it all off in the first half when he coolly slotted over a penalty after the first of many transgressions from our illustrious yet ill disciplined opponents. This sparked the 4ths briefly into life and they scored what they must have thought was going to be the first of many converted tries but even this came from a spawny interception! Can't remember who got it but what was important was that was the only one they got all night long!! In fact they hardly even sniffed our try line again especially in the 2nd half. As we had a squad of 28, we tried and succeeded in getting everyone a game. We started with under 15 coaches Peter Oakes and Clint Marshall on the wings as I thought they would be dashing off to their awards ceremony but the game was so gripping everyone stayed to watch every last second of it. Some of the team only got 20 minutes but they all to a man crammed whole games worth of effort into their time.
At half time, we were losing 7 - 3 but our second half display blew them away as we ran in 3 unanswered tries, two for Dunc Chance and one from Scott Monkley. Dunc's first came after a typical mazy run past what looked like half their team to touch down in the corner. Next it was the forwards turn as we camped on their line with a driving maul from which Scott peeled off the side to crash over. Both conversions were missed.
Dunc's second try was quite amazing because it followed an attack of ours that broke down and the loose ball was fly hacked like a bullet towards the safety of touch. Unfortunately Dunc was in the way and somehow held onto the ball before sprinting down the touchline to score in the corner. Even better was the conversion from the Squire, who having waited patiently to get his chance, apparently said to whoever took him the kicking tee that he was going to slot this one and promptly sent it soaring between the posts. Amazing!! It was our night all right!!

Reading this you may get the impression that it was all down to our so called 'ringers' Scott and Dunc who got the glory with the tries and also my son Louis who's a prop for the under 17's. Not so, anyone who was at the game knows how well everyone played and to be fair you couldn't even call them ringers as Scott had played for us 5 times, Dunc and Louis once each which qualifies them in my book!! Whilst we are on the subject, the hard core of this 4th team was the same one that stuffed us ( including Chancey ) out of sight last year. I suppose the most notable absentee was Darren Hall, Powelly ran us ragged last season when he came on in the second half. This time he still looked their most dangerous player (as they didn't seem to want to use Coxy on the wing! ) but, if he broke one tackle, then there were two more lying in wait. He did almost score just before half time from one weaving run but he chose to draw the defence and pop it out to Till Will on the wing who also sadly for them knocked it on! The 4ths misery was summed up late in the second half when they put in a cross field kick to Coxy who was flying down the wing. Sadly he knocked it on right in front of the clubhouse. Coxy wasn't happy and aimed a kick at the nearest flagpole, almost missed it and got a penalty against him from Rich Hackett for his frustration!! To make it worse, someone mouthed off and Rich marched them on another 10. Pure farce!!
They even introduced Mason and Sparky in the second half. Oh how the penalty count rose!!! Thanks guys, i almost felt sorry for Coxy because with Mason at 10 there was never any chance of Danny using his undoubted pace to trouble us!

Apart from the tries, the tackling, the penetrating, exciting, flowing rugby from backs and forwards combined, the sight of Mikey ( no try this time ) Dyson getting dumped in 3 successive moves, my son soaring like an eagle in the line out and tackling like a demon ( JUST LIKE HIS DAD!!!!!! ), the backline ( in particular Aubs and Grabbitt ) taking everything our illustrious opponents could throw at them and not budging, the thing i enjoyed the most was the awesome forward display especially some of the second half scrums when the 4ths were driven backwards several times with Pete Courtis ( 59! ) and Chas ( 2 games all season!! ) at prop.

I could individually mention every single player, such was the enormity of our display, but i want some sleep tonight so i will keep it short. Pagey took great delight in disappointing Huw the Slow who ran a book on how long it would be before Rich carded him and charged a pound a go. As there was no winner, Huw very kindly donated the pot into the Hoppers funds! Syko reminded us of what we had been missing since Xmas ( he's only been skiing 14 times!!!! ) with his surging runs and barely legal hand offs not to mention shoving Andy Johnstone over when they were both chasing a kick towards our line, priceless! Bit lenient that one Rich!!, Taylorman, played like he'd never been away even though he's only played once this season, nice one Kev!! and lastly the Squire's bro, Mark Read, only got 20 minutes as we had 6 wingers but what a display. He came off his wing to take a long punt forward in our 22, caught it at full pace, made 30 metres and got clobbered! He staggered to his feet and carried on for a couple of minutes before coming off looking very wobbly. On went HTS, almost out went Mark as we had to virtually carry him off after he had decorated the touchline!!

Greyhounds 1.Scall, 2.Bishop, 3.Bickley, 4.Faulkener, 5.Bear, 6.Rudge, 7.Metaxus, 8.Mansell, 9.Dyson, 10.Powell, 11.Till, 12.Ricky, 13.Si Metaxus, 14.Johnstone, 15.Al Niche. Subs. Danny Cox, Ben Hall, Mason, Guise and Sparkes........... How many Lions??????!!!!!

Grasshoppers 1. Shep ( age 46 ), 2. Greaves, 3. Pagey (40), 4. Mingy, 5. Son Of Slim AKA Louis (17), 6. Rhino (30), 7. Atko(48), 8. Scott Monkley(19), 9. Syko, 10. Grabbit, 11.Peter Oakes, 12. Aubs(54), 13. Dave Hughes, 14. Clint Marshall, 15. Doc Mann(42) Subs, Taylorman, Chas, Peter Courtis(59), Bissell, Myself(45), Storer, The Squire(41), The Squires Bro, Big Bad Nev, Tian(33), Falksy, Hugh the Slow and Dunc the Quick (Chancey!!)

A grand total of 28 players!! If you're not too shy then fill in the missing ages as I would love to know the average age of the squad!

Stourbridge RFC, Stourton Park, Bridgnorth Road, Stourton, Stourbridge. DY7 6QZ
Tel: 01384 395000 (office) Tel: 01384 393889 (clubroom) Fax: 01384 395000
Email: rugby@stourtonpark.com